It was November of 1989, two weeks after our family immigrated to the United States from the former Soviet Union, and we were invited to our first Thanksgiving dinner. Most things during those first few weeks felt intimidating, foreign and confusing. My parents walked around with a dictionary, trying to translate our new reality into a language we could understand. Yet, somehow, this first holiday in the new country felt incredibly familiar and relatable. It was a celebration of all the things we were grateful for: our safe arrival after living in two refugee camps, the abundance of food on the table, the dictionary that helped us navigate our new lives, the possibility of dreams coming true, the opportunities that immigrants yearn for, and the chance to rediscover our Jewish heritage.
After years of living under a communist regime, my parents hoped to give my brother and me a chance to reconnect with our place among the Jewish people. We subconsciously felt that this dinner was an unofficial start of our journey, as all beginnings require a moment of clarity where we acknowledge all the things we are already grateful for.
We couldn’t truly relate to the idea of eating a turkey, but it felt very important to partake in this meal. We felt pride in being the prototypes of those newly arrived pilgrims, overwhelmed with the emotions of being included at the table. This feeling of gratitude transcended language barriers as we focused on and reflected on all the gifts in our lives.
Later in life, after we embraced our Jewish heritage, I learned that the word “Jew” is derived from the name of Jacob’s son, Judah. The word “Jew,” or Yehudi in Hebrew, comes from the word hoda’ah, which means to acknowledge and express gratitude. Judah’s mother, Leah, named her son Yehudah to show her appreciation for bearing many children. Interestingly, the Talmud points out that this was the first instance in the Torah where anyone verbally thanked God. This moment marked the beginning of the Jewish legacy of gratitude.
As Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks profoundly pointed out, “The first words we are taught to say each morning, immediately upon waking, are Modeh Ani — ‘I give thanks.’ We thank before we think. Note that the normal word order is inverted: Modeh Ani, not Ani Modeh, so that in Hebrew, the ‘thanks’ comes before the ‘I.’ Judaism is ‘gratitude with attitude.’”
Thirty-five years to the day from our first Thanksgiving experience, I will be sitting at the holiday table once again, this time with a kosher turkey at its center.
Many challenging and important decisions have been made since our arrival in this country, and I am thrilled to feel at home in its daily routine. Yet, some things should never become routine, and that is the feeling of appreciation. The sense of gratitude I experienced as a 12-year-old girl at my first American holiday celebration will forever serve as a model for recognizing and appreciating all the big and small blessings in our lives.
